Connect with us


How To Stay Optimistic About Love After One Too Many Bad Relationships



You’ve been through so many toxic relationships and on so many horrific dates that you’re almost ready to call it a day on finding love for good and buy 10 cats. Don’t give up just yet! Here’s how to stay optimistic about love even when it seems absolutely impossible. Believe me, it’s out there.

Lift yourself up.

One of the first things you need to do if you’re experiencing heartbreak is to raise yourself by remembering your self-worth. If you do that, you’ll not only do the good deed of giving yourself love, but when you focus on your goodness, it opens you up to the goodness in others. Yes, that sounds a little la-di-da, but you’d be surprised at how well it works.

Get some perspective.

It’s easy to fall into the thinking trap that “all men are a-holes” or “everyone’s going to hurt me, but that’s toxic tunnel vision! Bear in mind that people you date in the future can’t all be bad like your exes. It’s impossible for that to happen unless you actually go in search of those types of people.

Focus on other types of love.

Romantic love isn’t the only kind of love that matters, and it’s good to remind yourself of that fact. Focus on the love you share with your siblings, parents, pets, and best friends. They’re all different kinds of love but they all matter and they’ll all keep you feeling positive.

Trade in your negative thoughts.

You can’t believe in love if you’re telling yourself jaded things the whole time like “No one is ever going to love me,” or “I don’t deserve love.” This shuts you down to the opportunities that are out there in life. Whenever you catch yourself talking down on love, stop yourself in your tracks and shift your mindset. It may be tough at first, but the more you do it, the better you’ll be at it.

Get back out there.

You need some time to yourself after a bad breakup so you can take stock before moving on, but it sometimes helps to regain your spark. You can do that by getting back on the dating saddle. When you meet new people, this will help you to gain perspective and see that there are still good people out there. Even if nothing becomes of it, if you’re lucky, you’ll still have some fun!

Stop the clocks.

It’s hard to believe in love when you feel like you’re running a race to try to find it in your life, like if you think you have to find The One by 25 or else… That’s no way to cultivate faith in love. In fact, it’ll just put so much pressure on yourself that you’ll become jaded about love. Realize that there’s no set timeline for finding love or for anything else in life. It’ll happen when it’s meant to. Take comfort in that.

Work on yourself.

Instead of thinking about how everyone you’ve dated is toxic, redirect your focus within. What are some bad dating habits that you should change? What is it about yourself that needs some work? Now’s the perfect opportunity to make these positive changes so you can be unapologetically you and attract the love you deserve in life.

Dare to take a chance.

It’s hard to be upbeat about dating when it’s a toxic minefield, but it doesn’t have to be! It’s all about how you see it, to try to see the lighter side of dating and romance. Don’t go in with the mindset that you’re trying to find love because that will just set you up for stress and possible disappointment. When your heart’s open and your mind is calm, you never know what you could find. There’s no doubt you’ll have fun, which will help you move on from a negative mindset.

Stay away from the past.

It’s easy to think, “Well, there are no great guys left, so I might as well go back to my toxic ex. Maybe he wasn’t so bad, and hey, at least I’ll have someone.” NO! Do not go back to him. This type of behavior is dating self-sabotage, and totally kills anything good that was hoping to bloom in your life. You broke up for a reason. Remind yourself of those reasons whenever you need to.

Seek out the good stories.

You can find a ton of bad relationship stories from friends and other people, but stay away from negativity. It just throws off your perspective, sort of like only reading scary news stories and avoiding all the positive stories that are out there. Listen to the stories of people who are in happy relationships and those couples who have been happily married for months, years, and even decades. Those will remind you that there is true love out there, and it’s something that can happen for you.

Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

Entertainment26 mins ago

Gender Reveals Are Transphobic – Demi Lovato

World News26 mins ago

Mom Hosts ‘Period Party’ For Young Girls To Teach Them About Menstruation And Make It Less Taboo

Relationship26 mins ago

Signs Your Boyfriend Is Getting Bored With Your Sex Life, According To A Guy

Latest Update36 mins ago

DJ Cuppy Set To Help Fans Who Are Students In Nigeria With Admission and School Fees

Entertainment36 mins ago

Zamfara School Abduction: Nobel Laureate, Malala Yousafzai Demands Jangebe Girls’ Release

Entertainment46 mins ago

“If A Woman Flaunts That Don Jazzy’s Mansion, Nigerians Will Accuse Her Of Prostituting Herself” – Actress Angela Eguavoen

Latest Update51 mins ago

We Settle This Matter David To Goliath”- Rapper, NBA Geeboy Fumes After Davido Used His Slang [VIDEO]

Latest Update56 mins ago

Mercy Aigbe, Yvonne Jegede, Kunle Afod, Others React As Adeniyi Johnson Turns A Year Older Today

Relationship56 mins ago

Mom ‘Shocked And Horrified’ After Catching Her Mother-In-Law Breastfeeding Her Baby

World News56 mins ago

Mom ‘Shocked And Horrified’ After Catching Her Mother-In-Law Breastfeeding Her Baby

Nation1 hour ago

Undocumented immigrants should be vaccinated without ICE fear, says Biden

World News1 hour ago

Hasbro Announces Mr. Potato Head Is Getting Gender-Neutral Rebrand To Cater To Modern Consumers

Relationship1 hour ago

Hasbro Announces Mr. Potato Head Is Getting Gender-Neutral Rebrand To Cater To Modern Consumers

Nation2 hours ago

Bitcoin slides in worst weekly drop since March amid selloff

Entertainment2 hours ago

Don Jazzy Shares Video Of The Interior Of His New Home