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Signs A Guy Is Seeing Someone Else Behind Your Back: Shady Things He Does

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If you’re not exclusive yet, you can’t exactly be angry if a guy is still talking to other women. However, once you’re part of an official couple, it’s understood that you’re monogamous and not dating or even entertaining anyone else. So how do you know if he’s seeing someone else behind your back? Look for these signs and kick him to the curb if you notice any of them.

He’s suddenly “super busy” and can’t hang out.

He used to be available to hang out pretty much all the time but these days, he’s “super busy” and either won’t commit to plans or can’t tell you what he’s up to until the very last minute. Often, when you do manage to pin him down for a date or just a hangout session, he flakes. There’s something shady going on here, and this is likely one of the signs he’s seeing someone else.

He talks about or texts a particular woman a lot these days.
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If you’re starting to hear another woman’s name a lot out of nowhere and he’s talking to her, texting her, or hanging out with her way more than usual or normal, something’s up. That’s not to say that men can’t have female friends, but an obsession with one woman in particular who isn’t his girlfriend points to trouble.

He avoids going certain places for seemingly no reason.
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Another of those big signs that he’s seeing someone else is that he suddenly can’t or won’t go to certain places. Maybe there’s a restaurant that’s off-limits or a part of town that he avoids like the plague. Maybe it’s because if he goes there, he’s afraid he’ll run into one of the other women he’s dating.

He’s not talking about the future.
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Sure, this could be put down to a simple fear of commitment, but if he used to be all gung-ho about the months and years you two were going to spend together but suddenly can’t seem to see beyond tomorrow, it’s time to worry. This could be because he’s seeing someone else behind your back and all signs are pointing to him liking her more than you.

He’s acting distant and kind of cold.
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He could just be falling out of love with you or having second thoughts about the relationship, yes, but there could also very well be another woman on the scene who he’s into and being with you is an annoyance and an inconvenience. If there’s someone he’d rather be with, he should just tell you. You could do a lot better than him too!

He’s glued to his phone more than usual.
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Everyone is obsessed with their phones and spends hours scrolling endlessly through social media, playing games, etc. However, if your boyfriend is suddenly attached to his more than normal and spends much of his time smiling at the screen without explanation or looking deep in concentration, he may be seeing someone else.

He keeps you away from his friends.
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That’s because if he was to introduce you or have you hang out with them, they might slip up and tell you about the other women he’s dating or worse, maybe even accidentally call you by her name. It’s clear that something shady is going on here, and it’s up to you to put a stop to it.

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How To Give Yourself Closure When You Can’t Get It From Your Ex

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Wouldn’t it be great if, whenever a relationship ended, you had total clarity on what happened and why and were able to move on quickly and easily because of it? Sadly, that’s not the case, and most breakups are so traumatic because so much is left unresolved. If your ex is unable or willing to hash things out with you, here’s how to give yourself closure so that you can end that chapter of your life and look forward to happier times.

Give yourself time and space to grieve.

There’s no use pretending that you don’t care about the breakup or you’re totally over your ex. Neither of those things are true and that’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s natural. In order to give yourself closure, you need to embrace the feelings you have and let yourself experience them fully. The only way out is through, in other words. Give yourself the grace to grieve so that you can process those feelings before moving on from them.

Write it all down.
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Whether it’s in a letter to your ex that you’ll never send or in ranting journal entries where you spew out every random thought about your ex and your relationship that crosses your mind. Both of these things are totally safe activities that allow you to expell the negativity, pain, and anger you’re holding in your body so that you can begin to heal from it. After that, you can truly start to achieve closure.

Take responsibility for yourself.
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A relationship takes two people to make it work and, generally speaking, two people to make it fall apart. Unless your ex cheated on you or betrayed you in some other extreme way, chances are there were things you did wrong and ways in which you contributed to its downfall. If you want to give yourself closure, you’ll need to own up to your screw-ups so that you can reflect on them and so that you don’t make the same mistakes in future.

Talk to a professional, if needed.
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If you find that you’re really struggling to move on from your relationship and/or your ex, you may need to seek profesionally therapy. Having an unbiased person to listen to your feelings and offer objective feedback could be exactly what you need to finally get a grip on the situation and pick yourself back up so you can love again.

Make a plan for the future.
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It’s always helpful to have something to look forward to. In order to give yourself closure, you need to have something to look forward to. Think about what you want, both in love and in life in general, and make a plan for how you’re going to get it. Having goals and things you want to achieve will go a long way in helping you heal.

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Warning Signs He’s A Toxic Guy And You Need To Stay Away

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Toxic guys can be hard to spot. Although they tend to display a few common red flags, it’s not always easy to notice when they’re furiously waving in front of you when you like the person waving them. Knowing what to look out for is the best way to identify when a toxic guy has come into your life. Read on for a few classic warning signs that you should stay away from him.

He leaves you on read.

Leaving someone on read is often a power play. They know that you’ve seen their message and are choosing not to respond to it. So if a guy does this to you constantly, he is either intentionally trying to establish power by leaving you waiting for him, or is so clueless that they don’t understand what it feels like to be left on read. Honestly, it’s more likely to be the former, which is one of the biggest signs that he’s a toxic guy.

He only talks to you late at night.
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If a guy only talks to you in the wee hours, it can mean that he’s only after one thing. Unless there’s some pressing reason why, such as you both having abnormal work schedules, this often means he only wants you for the kind of conversation and activities that happen late at night. If you do sleep early, then refusing to text you at any other time also demonstrates a lack of respect for your schedule.

He cancels your dates without any excuse.
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This is a huge red flag. Not that people are obligated to detail all of their reasoning to you. But if he throws you out by canceling at the last minute, the least he can do is apologize and explain himself. If he doesn’t even bother to give you an excuse, it shows that he doesn’t really value your feelings enough to justify himself.

He shows up late to see you.
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This might not seem like a big deal but it’s actually one of the most obvious signs of a toxic guy. Maybe even worse than bailing is rocking up late to your dates. Sometimes, people are late and they can’t help it. It’s okay as long as they apologize. But if he regularly rocks up late and doesn’t explain why, and doesn’t say sorry, it shows that he doesn’t care that he’s wasting your time. A guy like that is toxic.

He tries to undermine your confidence.
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Sometimes, guys who are insecure will try to undermine your confidence and bring you down to their level. He might insult you under the guise of a joke. Or he might manipulate you into focusing on and talking about a sore spot that hurts your feelings. No matter how he does it, you should avoid this type of guy at all costs.

He pushes your boundaries.
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Boundaries are there for a reason. If a guy tests your boundaries—even the ones that don’t seem major to you—it shows a huge lack of respect. And it could also show that he might be willing to test other boundaries you have, that are even more important to you. For example, if you have dinner with him and tell him you’re not drinking, and then he orders you a vodka lime anyway, he clearly doesn’t care about the boundary you’ve set. It shows that he’s more interested in meeting his needs than yours.

He lies.
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A liar is someone to stay away from. While most people might hide things from the person they’re dating in the beginning, you should eventually get a good idea of whether he’s an honest person or not. Does he lie about things for no reason? Does he keep things from you to manipulate you, because he knows you’d leave him if you found out? Non-white lies are a red flag and a sign of toxic behavior – if this guy is showing you the signs, believe him.

He guilts you for standing up for yourself.
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It can be scary to stand up for yourself, especially around someone you’re dating. Pay attention to how he responds when you do stand up for yourself. Does he make you feel guilty, like you’re being out of line for having your own back? Or does he gaslight you and make you think you overreacted? If so, he’s not good for you.

He lacks basic manners and courtesy.
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Manners are basic but important. Despite the appeal of a rude boy, it’s very hard to have a serious relationship with someone who lacks courtesy. Why? In most cases, someone who lacks courtesy also lacks respect. Does he apologize for being late? Say thank you when you pay for dinner? Treat the wait staff with respect? These can all speak volumes about his integrity.

He brags about his toxic behavior.
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Perhaps the single most toxic thing a person can do is brag about their toxic behavior. Notice how he speaks about his exes, or the other women he’s dated. Does he laugh as he tells you that he ghosts people when he’s sick of them? That he made an ex cry? Or that he used someone for sex? If he proudly talks about any of the toxic things he’s done, set him free. And tell him not to let the door hit him on his way out.

The signs of a toxic guy may not always be easy to spot, but the more you pay attention, the easier it’ll be to notice them.

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A Guy Shares How To Get His Interest Back When It Begins To Wane

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As human beings, our interests and attention can wane at times and we can become distracted by other things in their life. As a result, guys in particular can sometimes seem like they’re playing you hot and cold. Early in relationships in particular, it’s common for a guy’s interest to wane before things become a bit more settled and consistent. That doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t have a future, but women need to know the right way to handle the situation. If you can sense a guy’s interest starting to fade, here is what you can do.

Give him space.

If it seems like a guy is losing interest in you, don’t badger him about it. The best thing you can do is to give him time and space to figure out if he’s into you or not. This will give him a chance to miss you and reignite things if he wants. If he doesn’t, then you’ll know that it wasn’t meant to be. Just trust that if he’s genuinely interested and wants to see you, he’ll always come back.

Don’t push relationship talk.
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When a guy’s interest starts to wane, it’s not the right time to discuss the future of the relationship. Don’t ask him about where things are going because that’ll just push him away more. It’s clear that something is either distracting him or causing him to question something. Forcing him to talk about his feelings isn’t going to get him to think favorably about you. It may not be fair or fun from your perspective, but sometimes you have to let a guy continue on his terms.

Plan a group date.
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A group activity can help take a little bit of pressure off a guy compared to a one-on-one date. Just make sure that he’s comfortable around the other people in the group. The last thing you want to do is invite a guy to hang out with people that he doesn’t like. The idea is to create a situation in which he has a good time while in your presence. That will get him to associate you with having a good time, which can help to reignite his interest in you.

Compliment him.
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All men like getting compliments. We love to have our egos stroked and to feel better about ourselves, just like anyone else. Hearing a few kind words from a woman will always help to pique a guy’s interest. It will also make it clear that you’re interested in him, making him feel wanted. If you can make it clear that you want him, it’ll be a little easier for him to show his interest in you.

Appeal to him physically.
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It never hurts to appeal to a guy’s superficial side. If he’s reminded how much he’s attracted to you physically, his interest in you will return. You can get back to the emotional side of things later. Don’t forget that guys are often driven by regions other than their brains or their hearts, as sad as that sounds.

Get flirty.
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Of course, it’s not all about how you look. You also have to talk the talk if you want to renew a guy’s waning interest. Few things can do that faster than doing a little flirting. Reminding a guy that you have a fun and flirty side will help to draw his interest. Most guys can’t say no to a little bit of flirting. If he ends up ignoring your efforts to flirt with him, at least you’ll know that he’s not that into you.

Don’t be too available.
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Yes, you want to spend time with him, but that’s not all you want to do. You can’t make it seem like everything revolves around a guy. It’ll make you seem either desperate and clingy or like you’re pushing too hard to get serious. You need to have a life outside of him and not be afraid to date other people if things aren’t that serious. If a guy’s interest in you starts to wane, there’s no guarantee he’ll come around again, so you’ll want other things going on in your life. Plus, if you’re not too available, it could help make him want you a little more.

Recreate what worked in the beginning.
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If a guy seems distant, ask yourself what worked in the beginning. What is it that connected you two from the start? Then try to recreate that somehow. It never hurts to get back to basics. If something worked to draw a guy’s interest to you once, why can’t it work again?

Lay your cards on the table.
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This is the last, break-glass-in-case-of-emergency option. If a guy’s interest is fading and you think you might lose him for good, just lay it all out there. Tell him how you feel and what you want from the relationship. He might be impressed by your honesty and happy to have clarity. If he’s losing interest anyway, then you might not have anything to lose. Even if it doesn’t work, then at least you tried and were honest with him.

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The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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