To say that it’s hard to meet friends as an adult is basically the understatement of the decade. Back in school, it was as easy as sitting together on the bus to strike up a conversation and become attached at the hip with someone who was a relative stranger just moments ago. Once you’re grown up, however, that all changes. If you’re struggling to widen your social circle in your twenties and thirties, here are some tips to help you out.
Remember to be proactive.
Much like in dating, you’ll never meet friends if you simply expect them to fall into your lap. As an adult, we often find ourselves with fewer opportunities to make connections unless we actually put ourselves out there. If you want to forge new connections, you’ll have to put in a little effort. You can hang out on the couch together once you actually find your crew.
Accept random invitations.
If one of your colleagues invites you to some event you’re really not interested in and you’re tempted to say no, fight that urge and go along. Maybe your sister wants you to go to some acquaintance’s party with her where you know no one or your boyfriend invites you to join his Saturday morning park running group. Get out there! You might just come across some interesting people.
Try new things and go new places.
In order to meet new friends as an adult, you’re going to have to switch things up and get a little uncomfortable sometimes. Don’t always go to the same places and do the same things. You know who’s there and none of them are really your cup of tea. Instead, push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit. The rewards could pay off big time.
Join a new club or group activity.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to take French classes or learn how to do pottery. What’s stopping you? Not only with these things be great for your personal enrichment, they’ll also be full of other people and potentially some great friends. Plus, it’ll keep you from sitting on your couch scrolling through your phone for hours on end, which is always a positive
There are always people out there less fortunate than you that could really use your help. Whether you volunteer a few hours at a local animal shelter, at a food bank, or another charitable organization, not only will you be making other people’s lives better, which is incredibly rewarding, but you could also meet new friends in the process.
Make concrete plans and stick to them.
One of the best parts of being an adult is that your schedule is your own to make and, with a few exceptions, if you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to. However, you’ll never meet new friends if you’re invited to do something and you keep flaking on people. Good friends understand and appreciate the need to chill out sometimes, sure, but in those beginning stages when you’re
Reconnect with old friends.
Just because you want to meet new friends doesn’t mean your old ones should fall by the wayside. I’m not suggesting you reach out to people you haven’t spoken to since second grade and try to rekindle your friendship, but don’t forget the people who’ve known you for a while. They’ll be some of the best people you could have in your life.
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The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
How To Get Over A Breakup When You Still Love Your Ex
Getting over a breakup when you still love your ex can feel impossible. As painful as it is, it is possible to move on when your heart is still pining for someone. It just takes discipline, kindness, and patience. Here’s how to get over a breakup when you still love your ex.
Allow yourself to feel sad.
Unfortunately, there’s no quick-fix answer when it comes to getting over a break up. The bad news is this can be one of the hardest things you’ll do in your life. And it’s often a very painful process. The most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to feel sad. Don’t beat yourself up for not being over the breakup by the time you think you should be over it. Everyone heals differently and it might take you more time than expected. If you still feel sad, the only thing to do is to embrace those feelings. If you have to, cry it out.
Get out of the house.
Distractions can be a major help when it comes to getting over a breakup. You might feel like staying in and crying, and that’s okay to do sometimes. But if you’ve been stuck at home for multiple days in a row, it might be time to bring in some distractions. Try getting out of the house, even if it’s to just go for a walk. Ideally, you should plan to do something that will make you feel good, like seeing a movie or going out to eat at your favorite restaurant. You’ll likely feel better when you get out and start living again.
Find other sources of love.
Just because your ex isn’t in your life anymore doesn’t mean you have to live without love altogether. Instead of pining that lost relationship, focus on the other sources of love in your life. Nurture your relationships with your family and friends. And if you don’t have many other sources of love, it’s time to find some. Foster new platonic relationships or even look for love in other places. Fall in love with a new hobby, find a new passion, or even adopt a pet (only if you can commit to looking after it properly for the rest of its life—not a temporary source of love).
Remind yourself why it didn’t work.
Sometimes, thinking logically about things can really help you to feel better emotionally. To get over your breakup when you’re still in love, write a list of all the reasons why it didn’t work. Focus on those instead of romanticizing the past. It won’t make you fall out of love overnight, but it will help to cement in your mind why you can’t go back to that person, and why you’re better off without them.
Surround yourself with the right people.
In the weeks following a breakup, choose your company very carefully. You’re likely to be in a fragile state and should only have space for people who enhance your life. Don’t spend time with people who will make you feel bad about yourself. That can make it harder to get over a relationship that’s already hard to get over. Spend your time with positive people who will encourage you to feel good and move forward.
Avoid happy couples.
It’s not happy couples’ fault that they’re happy. But still, you don’t need to surround yourself with all that happiness when you’re trying to get over a breakup. If you do, you might be tempted to make things work with your ex so you can have that happiness too, when you should be moving on. Rather than hanging out with your friends who are in couples, spend time with those who are single just until you don’t feel so fragile.
Get off social media.
You should also be selective about what you choose to look at on social media. Looking at happy couples, or even your ex, will make you feel worse—not better. Sometimes, it’s safer to just ditch social media altogether. Instead, focus on living your life, being present, and hanging out with people who genuinely care about you.
Give it time.
You can’t rush your emotions. If you still love someone, you still love them. No matter what you do to make yourself feel better, the only real answer is time. After a certain amount of time—and that amount is different for everyone—you will feel better about things. You will see clearly and you won’t feel so desperately in love with someone who’s not good for you. But you can’t rush it. Time works in its own way and you just have to be patient.
Work on your self-love.
Until time heals your wounds, you should work on loving yourself. As cliched as it sounds, self-love will help you to get over a breakup because it will remind you why you deserve to be happy. Spend time loving yourself and you’ll start to feel deserving of real love rather than what you were receiving in your former relationship.
How Toxic Relationships Affect You Even After You’re Out Of Them
You did it! You got out of the toxic relationships you were in, and now you’re ready to rebuild your life. Why, then, do you still feel weighed down by those unhealthy bonds? Even after leaving them, relationships can leave a mark. Here are the surprising ways the toxic relationships of your past affect you long after you leave them behind.
You blame yourself.
After dealing with a toxic relationship, it’s common to blame yourself for what happened. You may feel like you were the cause of the relationship problems, or at minimum, it’s your fault for falling for someone who was so wrong for you. Part of you might even believe that if only you made wiser decisions, the relationship would still exist today, and perhaps without all the toxic baggage. It’s important to remember that an unhealthy relationship requires two people to maintain it. While you’re responsible for some aspects of the relationship problems, you certainly aren’t solely to blame. Not only that, but you are never at fault for someone else’s abusive or manipulative behaviors.
You feel numb.
Toxic relationships can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, and when the relationship ends and everything settles, you might realize that it still affects you because you actually feel, well, nothing. You’re not happy or sad; you’re just numb. It’s normal to feel numb temporarily after leaving a bad relationship. As you start recovering and picking up the pieces of your life, slowly you should start to notice your feelings (both positive and uncomfortable ones) returning.
You lost your sense of self.
Our identities can get all wrapped up in toxic relationships, especially if you molded your personality and interests to be like your ex’s. Now, without that relationship, you’re lost and wondering who you really are. This is a scary, yet constructive, phase to be in. You probably weren’t your best self in that relationship, but now you have a chance to reclaim and reinvent who you really are.
You’re scared of choosing the wrong person again.
People don’t come with a warning label. If they did, dating would be so much easier. While toxic partners might wave some red flags early in the relationship, others are master manipulators, making it nearly impossible to see their true colors until later. Trust that you did the best you could, and you’re capable of making better relationship choices in the future.
You gaslight yourself.
After an abusive relationship, you might have trouble trusting your own judgment. If you were gaslighted by a toxic ex, it’s common to internalize their words and second-guess everything you think or feel. You might believe you’re too crazy to be trusted, or that you’re just too sensitive and overthinking everything. Then, when you start dating again, you may shut down the signals your gut is trying to tell you, choosing to put blind faith in a new person instead of having faith in yourself.
You crave and fear intimacy simultaneously.
After being seriously burned by a past partner, vulnerability might start to look like the enemy. What if you open up and get close, only to be hurt again? This doesn’t mean you avoid relationships entirely, though. But when you start a new relationship, you might feel yourself switching between hot and cold, craving closeness yet pushing it away soon after.
You prefer chaos over calm.
You might subconsciously gravitate towards toxic relationships after being in one before because it feels familiar. The constant ups and downs, the chase, the feeling of reward when the other person finally gives you a little attention—you deserve so much better than this, yet a healthy and calm relationship might actually freak you out. This is a normal response after a traumatic relationship, but it’s a response worth working to change.
You feel disconnected and alone.
Toxic relationships often involve enmeshment, where there are no clear boundaries or separation between two people. While in your toxic relationship, you may have neglected friendships, and likewise, some friends may have distanced themselves if they didn’t agree with your relationship. Even if this isn’t the case, it’s typical to feel disconnected or alone after leaving toxic relationships. You may think that people can’t understand what you’re going through, or that they’ll judge or take advantage of you like your toxic partner did.
You settle for superficial relationships.
It’s common to turn to quick flings after a bad breakup. But this is especially true if you were in a toxic relationship, and settling for shallow connections may even become a long-term habit. One common quality of toxic relationships is that there’s a major power imbalance. Because of this, you might be desperate to regain power (and even overpower others) after leaving that relationship. To cope, you become a bona fide female player. Playing the field isn’t always a bad thing, but when it comes to healing after a toxic relationship, it can only distract you for so long.
You learn to recover and move on.
Toxic relationships can linger long after they’re gone. But eventually, you’ll start to notice you feel free and empowered to explore other options, whether that be enjoying the single life or dating better people. The truth is your toxic relationships will continue to affect you. You have a bundle of memories and experiences wrapped up in those relationships that you can’t just leave in the past. But you can use that to your advantage. Sometimes, it takes being in a bad relationship (or several) to finally learn that you deserve better. And sometimes, finding the right person means learning to avoid the wrong ones. No matter what stage you’re currently at after leaving a toxic relationship, trust that there’s a brighter, non-toxic future ahead.
Cardi B Is Releasing Vodka-Infused Whipped Cream To Make Your Holiday Treats Even Better
There’s no dessert or coffee drink that a dollop of whipped cream can’t improve, but this Christmas, things are getting a whole lot better. Why’s that? Well, Cardi B is releasing her own vodka-infused non-dairy whipped cream just in time for the holidays. There’s no limit to what you can add this stuff to!
They’re called Whipshots and they come in three flavors. Starco Brands worked with the rapper to come up with Whipshots, the non-dairy cream topping that has actual vodka in it. Better yet, there are three different flavors so there’s something for everyone: Vanilla, Caramel, and Mocha.
It’s meant to be a luxury product that’s still a whole lot of fun. The company said in a statement to Thrillist that working with Cardi B on the project was a no-brainer given her “iconic sense of playfulness, style, and entrepreneurial prowess” which she lent to “the creative direction of the brand.” They added: “Unlike any other spirit on the market, Whipshots combines luxury and indulgence with unmatched flavor to create a boozy whipped cream that’s as fun and flirtatious as its consumers.”
The official release isn’t until next year. Whipshots will start appearing in stores from early 2022 at retailers nationwide. The 50mL bottles will go for $5.99 but if you need just a bit more, you can grab a 375 mL bottle for $19.99.
If you’re desperate to try it now, Starco Brands is releasing 500 cans early. You’ll have to head to Whipshots.com between December 1 and December 31 to be in with a chance to get one, though. Be quick!
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