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If You Always Text Him First, Here’s Why You Should Stop

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I know everyone gets eager in the early stages of their relationship, but we’re not 12 anymore. Sometimes you can suffocate a relationship or get too comfortable too early in. These things take time, and intimacy can’t be forced. That’s why if you find yourself pulling all the weight in a relationship, even if it’s just in terms of getting in touch, you have to stop. Here are some reasons why you need to protect yourself and stop texting first all the time.

It means you’re putting in all the effort.

Simple as that. Relationships should be reciprocated and mutually beneficial. If you feel like you’re more invested than the other person, it’ll show. Sending eight consecutive texts on your second date isn’t a good look. For many reasons. It also suggests that you might be too attached to your phone, or childish. Maturity is all about understanding that other people need space. It’s a phase we all grow out of, but you have to give the other person a chance to take charge too.

It will make him complacent.
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If he starts to realize that he can get all your attention without putting any effort in, you’ll notice how that affects the rest of your relationship. First of all, he’ll stop trying to impress you and get to know you. These are key aspects to the starting out phases of a relationship, and if you skip through them too quickly, you will find yourself up a creek with no paddle.

You will learn to accept the bare minimum.
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Frankly put, you’re worth more than that. Everyone is. Not only will you be getting a half-hearted relationship, but your guy will be too. He won’t get to understand the emotionally available, mentally complex parts of a relationship either. Neither of you will be fulfilled, but you won’t realize it. This is why it’s important to demand parity even in the social media habits you have. They have consequences.

A “Good morning” text isn’t too much to ask.
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We know this. He knows it. Hell, Gwen from down the road knows it. But as long as he knows he can get away with it then he won’t do it. Men are funny like that. But, I guess women are too, so I shouldn’t get too dramatic. It’s 2021, everyone knows how important social media can be to long-distance relationships. You have to play the game some time to make relationships work.

You’ll start to feel that your needs are silly.
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If you are gaslit into thinking that wanting a “goodnight” text or equivalent is silly or childish by your partner, that’s totally the wrong attitude. Your person should encourage you to be yourself and express your needs, not make you hide them or feel shame. That doesn’t make your relationship a safe space. If your partner doesn’t make you feel safe, who will? Well, lots of people, but he should know that it’s important to you and that should be enough.

Assert your expectations early.
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If you start to dismiss your desires and needs and comforts this early in a relationship then when it comes to the really big stuff you won’t have the language or history with your partner to articulate it. It will sow the seeds of unhappiness and the problem will become bigger over time unless you nip it in the bud now and stop texting first. That sounds dramatic, but you can see the logic.

You wouldn’t accept that in a friend, why in a partner?
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We all like to pretend that we’re above it all, but the truth is that we notice when a friend stops replying as much or if they aren’t putting in the same energy as you. That hurts. Therefore, when it’s amplified in a relationship, you would never put yourself through that without cause. Stand up for yourself, no matter how insubstantial the issues might seem. Demand that he shows his cards every now and then.

They know exactly what they’re doing.
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Okay, here’s the rub. We’re all emotionally complex and we all know that our actions have consequences. Plus, no matter how clueless it is convenient for us to think that guys are, they are self-aware creatures. If they continue to play us around and make us feel silly by refusing to text first a few times, then how do we expect them to actually compromise on big issues later down the line? It’s such a no-no.

The answer is that we can’t, and that’s why you have to assert yourself and be clear about what you expect in a partner in these early stages. Otherwise, friends, you might find it is suddenly too late.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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Signs He Never Loved You And How To Get Over it

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There’s nothing more brutal than realizing a guy you invested time, energy, and so much of your heart into never loved you at all. You want to believe that he did care, and maybe part of him did a bit, but if any of these signs are true about your relationship, the brutal truth is that his feelings for you were never that serious.

He had a new girlfriend within a few days of your breakup.

Everyone gets over breakups in their own time, and there’s no one schedule that’s right. However, if you only broke up a few weeks or even a few days ago and he’s already moved onto someone else, that’s one of the biggest signs that he never loved you. If he did, he’d be heartbroken and uninterested in anyone else at the moment. There’s also the possibility that she was already in the picture before your relationship even ended…

He treated you like his mother rather than his partner.
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If your ex-boyfriend treated you more like the hired help than he did his girlfriend, consider that one of the most glaring signs that he never loved you. If he did, he would have worked to ensure you had an equal partnership rather than relying on you to fulfill all the duties his mother used to do. You were his partner, not his butler or his parent.

He never made you a priority in his life.
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When you’re in a relationship with someone, they should be high on your list of priorities. However, that wasn’t the case for him. It seemed like absolutely everything came before you – his job, his friends, his dog, his video games, his love of pizza… For some reason, you just never really factored in. He fit you in when there was nothing else taking his attention rather than ensuring you were prioritized.

He always made plans without considering you.
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It’s safe to say he never loved you if he made plans, whether for next weekend or three years in the future, without so much as considering how they would affect you or how you would feel about them. Maybe he accepted a job in another city or decided to go on a two-week vacation with the boys, all without running it by you first. It’s not that you would have stopped him, but one of the biggest signs of disrespect is a partner who totally does whatever he wants without so much as thinking of you.

He was only ever affectionate during sex.
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If he only ever kissed you or held you close while you were having sex or in the moments leading up to it, he couldn’t make his feelings (or lack thereof) more clear. Intimacy isn’t just about sex – it’s about physical and emotional closeness outside the bedroom too.

He never put in the same amount of effort, if any.
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You put a lot of effort into your relationship and your ex-boyfriend, trying to make sure he was happy, well cared for, and loved. Sadly, he didn’t put in as much effort… or any effort at all. That’s because he never loved you, as sad as that is to realize and accept.

He never compromised – it was his way or the highway.
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Part of being in a loving, mutually respectful relationship is the willingness to compromise. You can’t always have your own way and you shouldn’t want to. If your ex-boyfriend always insisted on doing things his way and threw a fit or threatened to break up with you if you pushed back, the signs couldn’t be clearer that he never loved you.

Realizing that someone you dated for a while didn’t care for you as much as or the way you deserved can be overwhelming, but don’t let it get you. Instead, cultivate your own self-love and focus on ensuring that when you love again, you receive that same love in return. You’re worth it.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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How To Be The Best Girlfriend He’ll Ever Have

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I’m not saying you’re a bad partner – I’m sure you’re not. However, if you want to be the best girlfriend he’s ever had, you’re going to have to step up your game. Doing these things doesn’t necessarily require much extra effort if you’re already pretty attentive to your boyfriend’s needs. In fact, you’re probably already doing many of them anyway. That being said, a woman who does these things is guaranteed to be unforgettable in her partner’s mind pretty much forever.

Do your part to keep the spark.

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever and that’s a good thing. However, part of keeping your relationship strong and thriving is by maintaining the spark. Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t the guy’s job. Both of you should be putting in equal effort to keep the passion and romance alive between you. Sure, real life takes over sometimes, but make sure you’re doing your bit by planning dates, initiating sex, and showing your partner physical affection.

Listen to him.
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Don’t immediately jump down his throat when he does something that you don’t understand or don’t like. Don’t automatically assume the worst of him or point the finger at him when something goes wrong. Instead, actually listen to him. Just zip your lips, sit back, and let him speak. You know how important it is for you to feel heard, so offer him the same courtesy.

Validate even his craziest feelings or ideas.
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Maybe you and your boyfriend are two totally different people, and that’s cool. However, that means sometimes he might have different desires, goals, or viewpoints than you and they’re so out there that you just don’t get them. Never invalidate his feelings or ideas. Instead, make sure he knows that your relationship is a safe space to share them and that even if you don’t agree or understand them, you support his right to them nonetheless.

Give him space.
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Most guys need more space than women in relationships and that can be hard to deal with, especially if you’d be cool hanging out 24/7. Being the best girlfriend he’s ever had or ever will have means backing off a bit and giving him a little room to breathe away from you. Whether it’s going out with his friends or sitting in front of the TV on his PS5 for hours, let him be free to do that without making him feel guilty or pressured to be with you instead.

Have a life outside of your relationship.
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This is as much for you as it is for him. Your relationship should never be your entire life. It’s important that you don’t need your boyfriend but you simply want him to make your already complete life even better. Make sure you’re still hanging out with your friends, seeing your family, pursuing your goals and hobbies, and spending time on self-care. Your relationship will be better for it.

Encourage him to be his best self but never push him to change.
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The best girlfriend he’s ever had is always going to be the one who encourages him to be the best version of himself but doesn’t pressure him or manipulate him into changing. You should be his biggest cheerleader, not a puppet master desperately trying to pull the strings of his life.

Love him where he’s at.
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Don’t ever get with a guy because of his potential because you’ll end up feeling disappointed and he’ll end up resenting you. Instead, the best girlfriend knows that she needs to love her partner where he’s at right now, flaws and all. After all, it’s our imperfections that make us endearingly human, don’t you think?

Make him laugh. Simple but effective.
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Sometimes life is going to throw some real curveballs your way and the only way you’re going to get through it is by learning how to laugh at yourselves, each other, and the the terrible condition of life sometimes. Find little ways to bring a smile to his face and he’ll love you all the more efor it.

Don’t take him for granted.
No one likes to feel unappreciated, and that goes for men too. Never simply expect him to do things for you just because he always has. Recognize the small efforts he makes on a daily basis to make your life a better, easier place and show appreciation for it.

Show him you love him as well as telling him.
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You should by all means vocalize your love for your boyfriend, but you should show it as well. How do you do that? Well, by doing all the things listed above. They’ll undoubtedly make you the best girlfriend ever.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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Why Smart Women Are Much More Likely To Be Single

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Have you ever noticed that smart women tend to stay single way longer than the general population? It seems weird since theoretically, our intelligence should help us find love more easily. However, the truth is that being brainy can work against us in love and relationships in many ways. Here’s why we roll solo much more often.

We’re great judges of character.

Smart women are pretty good at reading people, which protects us from a ton of bad situations. Once we recognize a red flag from a guy or he exhibits some kind of problematic viewpoint or behavior, we’re outta there. Many of us are single much longer than we’d like to be because we never fall for the fakeness that many guys put out when we first meet them. It’s a blessing and a curse!

Men consider our intelligence a turn-off.
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According to a study cited by The Guardian, a woman’s marital prospects decrease by 40% for every 16-point rise in IQ. Shocking, right? But not quite as shocking as the fact that the exact opposite seems to be true for men. For every 16-point rise in a man’s IQ, he becomes 35% more desirable to women. And they say misogyny is dead.

We tend to prioritize career ambitions over relationships.
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Smart women tend to be ambitious. Maybe we want to write a book or start our own business, or maybe we want to become surgeons or professors. Whatever the goal is, we can be pretty single-minded when it comes to achieving it, meaning love and relationships often get moved to the back-burner. It’s not that we’re against love, just that we don’t prioritize it, making it harder to find (and keep when it does come along). Because of this, we tend to stay single much longer.

We don’t put up with BS.
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A study of 121 British participants found that smart women are seen as problematic in heterosexual relationships because their intelligence comes off as masculine, threatening, and undesirable. The same couldn’t be said for men, of course, but I suppose that’s because smart women won’t put up with men’s crap. We call out lies, BS, and bad behavior without hesitance, so of course that’s going to be “problematic” to a guy who thinks he’s going to get one over on us. Ugh, who wouldn’t prefer to be single?

We refuse to settle.
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At the end of the day, smart women stay single for as long as it takes to find someone who’s on our level and who wants to truly be an equal partner. We refuse to settle for anything less, and why should we? We know how much we have to offer as women and as partners, and we’ll wait until we find someone who’s worthy of that before we couple up.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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