Connect with us

Relationship

Is He A Selfish Boyfriend? 12 Signs You’re Dating A Guy Who Puts Himself First

Published

on

iStock 1201029095

You might be in the honeymoon phase now, but when it comes to an end, you should be with someone who’s going to put in real effort to make your relationship a success. If you can already see signs that your partner is selfish, be warned – he could end up destroying your relationship and denting your happiness. Is your boyfriend always making himself number one? Is he way too self-centered to get involved with? Here are 12 signs he’s a selfish boyfriend.

He’s all about himself.

This guy is a walking advertisement for himself. He loves talking about the great way he helped his friend, the career promotion he achieved at work, and how much he works out to stay fit. After a while, it will feel like he never actually listens to what you have to say without wanting to jump into the conversation to share something about himself.

He answers on your behalf.
iStock 607985678
Does he decide what you’ll both order for drinks or dinner? Does he talk over you in public, like by answering questions on your behalf when someone asks you what you do for a living? It’s like he’s silencing you. While this behavior might seem acceptable or even charming at first – you might think he knows you so much, it’s sweet – it’s a big red flag that you’re dealing with a selfish guy.

He steamrolls over your opinions.
iStock 640313068 1
A selfish guy is someone who isn’t just obsessed with himself but wants you to do and think in the same way he does. He’s controlling. So, when you express how you’d love to go hiking, he’ll tell you why that’s a bad idea. Similarly, when you express how you want to change careers, he’ll mansplain about what he thinks you should do.

He expects you to compromise.
warren wong 242286 unsplash
This is one of the biggest signs of a selfish boyfriend. Without compromise, a relationship can’t survive. You’re not always going to see eye to eye or want the same things, so it’s important to reach out and work on the relationship. A selfish guy won’t compromise to accommodate you. So, you’ll be the one shifting around your schedule, trying to bend over backward to make him happy. Ugh. He might even make you feel guilted into doing what he wants.

He becomes your world.
tom holmes 580121 unsplash
Does it feel like you’re always making him a priority but he doesn’t do the same thing for you? This isn’t just about compromise. It’s like he expects that you’ll make your relationship with him the number-one priority in your life. If you have to do something outside of the relationship, such as by spending time with your besties, he’ll sulk or act like you’re betraying him. He wants to become your everything, but he does what he wants.

He goes under the radar.
iStock 476195893
If he’s always there for you when you’re having a good time but then he doesn’t show up when you really need him, like when you’re stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire or your best friend’s in the hospital, that’s not enough. A selfish guy will only do things that make him feel good and when he can gain something from it. He’s not going to be supportive if there’s nothing in it for him.

He’s got secret motives.
iStock 525025234
Linked to the above point, this guy has secret agendas for why he does things. If he’s done something to upset you, suddenly he’ll become super-attentive and buy you your favorite flowers as a gift. When he feels you slipping away, he’ll become the most charming guy you’ve ever met. Hmmm.

He makes you feel you’re not good enough.
iStock 629707354
A selfish guy who only thinks about himself might expect you to jump through fire-covered hoops in order to be worth his time. So, he’ll want you to meet all his grand expectations. When you don’t, you’ll feel like you’re not good enough. Meanwhile, you should stop and ask yourself if he’s meeting your demands and needs. He’s probably not.

He doesn’t register your emotions.
iStock 609954776
Have you ever tried to tell your boyfriend something emotional about yourself only to receive a blank stare from him? He doesn’t offer emotional support. Again, this is because of how he only feels for himself. When you tell him how sad/stressed/frustrated you are, he might just ignore it, look bored, or ask you why you’re being so dramatic. It can break you because it makes you feel like you just don’t matter to him.

He’s like an examiner, not a boyfriend.
drew hays 168905 unsplash
If it sometimes feels like your boyfriend studies and examines everything in your life and is highly critical of it, it’s a sign that he wants your time to belong to him and his opinions are the only ones that matter. For example, he might criticize your career, friends, or family members. He always knows better, but he acts like he cares about you. So, he might say he doesn’t like how your BFF takes advantage of you, but he really doesn’t want you to spend time with her instead of him. This is another of those big signs he’s a selfish boyfriend.

He’s clueless about your needs.
iStock 693423544
A selfish guy won’t think about pleasing you or what you need from the relationship. He’ll ignore this or not even notice when you mention what you need to be happy. This is the case both inside and outside of the bedroom – it’s all about what he needs and wants.

He threatens to hit the exit.
iStock 603277300
When you and your partner have a big fight, instead of working through the issues that have surfaced he’ll threaten to break up with you. He’s dramatic and wants to scare you so that you chase him or compromise more to make things work. This is a sign that you’re dealing with someone who throws a fit whenever he doesn’t get his way. What, are you dating a toddler? It sure feels like it.

The signs of a selfish boyfriend aren’t always easy to spot, but the sooner you recognize them, the sooner you can deal with them. Don’t get caught out with a guy who will never love you the way you deserve to be loved.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

GET IT NOW

Relationship

Is A 50/50 Relationship Even Possible? Probably Not — Here’s Why

Published

on

iStock 1351151341

This is the question that we all secretly wonder about when we’re in relationships. Where does the power dynamic come in and who is in charge? Well, this is largely determined by who is presumed to have control, which in turn, is determined by who has the least to lose. By these calculations, the person who is least invested has all the power. This means that it puts a greater awareness on wondering who loves the other most. By this questionable logic, some people think that it’s a weakness to love the other person more. It’s not, but it raises the question of whether 50/50 relationships are possible or even desirable.

No emotion is permanent.

Our feelings are not something that we can measure objectively or with numbers. All we can really do is compare them in retrospect, or record them in our teenage diaries to read back in horror when we move out. This means that it’s impossible to have a perfectly 50/50 relationship. That doesn’t mean that no relationship is equal. We all have different roles and functions in the relationship. That’s why we pursue partners who can support us. We should spend less time trying to calculate, analyze, and compare our love for each other, and just accept that it’s wonderful to have so much love to start with.

Each person is different.
iStock 972510252
Not only is each emotion different, but so is each person. And we’re all complex beings with different needs and responsibilities and stresses at work. It means that the way we feel about other people is constantly changing – and so it should. It would be strange if it didn’t, because love is meant to be flexible and responsive. They aren’t things that we can win or lose, but just be open and vulnerable with our feelings. Let go of that need to control. You will find you care much less about the details.

Context is key.
iStock 1137948904
Not only are we all different and not only do we live complex lives, but so does everyone else. Heck, every five minutes I change my mind, forget what I had for lunch, or pick a fight with my sister that I don’t mean. You see what I mean. We’re fickle, us humans. All this to say, we can’t be so hard on ourselves. On top of that, we need to listen to what our heart is telling us so that we can learn more about what we need going forward.

Different love languages balance out affection.
iStock 683286724
The beauty of different levels of attraction means that you feel great when you feel great. You only know that because you experience lows sometimes. It’s a fact of life that everyone goes through. It means you can cherish the moments when you feel really strong love, and you can value those special memories. Also, if your love language is physical affection while someone else’s is words of affirmation, you get to learn more ways of loving people. Different standards of what it means to love someone – not better or worse – just different.

Love comes in waves.
iStock 908763722
I’ve touched on how the details of everyday life can change how much love you have for other people, but also there are broader patterns. Love is not absolute and we cannot take it for granted. What would be the point if we did?

Equal partners can’t be calculated.
iStock 956845262
We can’t judge ourselves by nonexistent metrics and feel good. That’s not healthy. What does it say about us if we feel impressed for loving someone else less?

We are allowed to get annoyed.
pexels photo 936072
Here’s another fact, not all relationships are 50/50 because the math doesn’t mean that we have to be perfectly 100% in love all the time. We can take breaks, have pauses, or take a minute to ourselves. That’s natural and normal. Just because you’re in love, doesn’t mean you have to give yourself over to someone else entirely. You are allowed to remain yours, too. Remember that. You’re allowed to feel frustration or annoyance if your partner annoys you. It’s okay – you’d be miserable if you had to be happy all the time. People need to deserve our love, we don’t owe them anything.

Things change.
iStock 658530634
We all grow, even in a relationship – we should be individuals. Have our own identity. We don’t even need to grow in the same proportion, or at the same rate as one another. Real love is freedom, not a calculation.

You are doing so much better than you think you are. Stop wondering what other people are thinking about you and your relationship. Just make sure you’re comfortable first.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

GET IT NOW

Continue Reading

Relationship

10 Scientific Benefits Of Cuddling You May Not Have Known About

Published

on

iStock 539821304

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever just cuddled? Whether it’s your boyfriend, a casual date, or the family dog, cuddling might just be the perfect way to unwind, get cozy, and boost your wellbeing. Here are some of the top benefits of cuddling backed by science.

Cuddling relieves stress.

This is at the top of the list when it comes to the benefits of cuddling. Having trouble sleeping? Feeling extra stressed? Just need to chill? Cuddling might be the answer! Cuddling someone else releases oxytocin, a hormone that can calm your mind and relax your body. If you’ve ever felt safe and comforted after a good cuddle session, that’s why. Oxytocin is even available as a prescription designed to help people struggling with anxiety and depression. But if you want to skip the pharmacy, cuddle someone you love instead.

It improves your sex life.
iStock 693423544
Cuddling and sex do not have to go together, but they definitely can sometimes. And if you’re looking to ignite a spark in the bedroom or want to improve physical intimacy with your partner, cuddling is a great way to start. Skip the lazy couch potato cuddle, and try cuddling face-to-face or even cuddling without any clothes on. If sexy time wasn’t in the schedule, it probably will be now.

Cuddling can lower blood pressure.
iStock 539967986
If you want to protect your heart (and not just from players), try cuddling. It can improve heart health, starting with lowering your blood pressure: studies show a link between the oxytocin released from hugging and lower blood pressure. And that’s important, since high blood pressure can lead to a heart attack, stroke, and other serious health problems. Hugging and cuddling can also slow heart rate, proving its relaxing benefits to the body.

It could help with relationship anxiety.
iStock 648840366
This is one of the biggest benefits of cuddling. As a rule of thumb, serious relationship issues require more than cuddling to fix them. But if you struggle with trust issues, an anxious attachment, or other relationship worries, even in an otherwise healthy relationship, cuddling could help ease your jitters and get you feeling closer to your partner. If you’ve found that cuddling comforts your uneasiness, be sure to ask your partner to do it more often. Even a long hug when you greet each other or some good ol’ spooning in bed might be enough to soften your anxiety and improve your relationship.

It may ease pain.
iStock 677970614
Can you cuddle cramps away? Maybe! Researchers have found that the oxytocin released from cuddling can relieve pain, decrease sensitivity, and block pain receptors in the body. And while it might not be enough to cure your pain for good, it’s scientifically proven to make mild-to-moderate pain less severe. Next time you have a headache or stub your toe, use it as an excuse to initiate a cuddle session.

Hugging and cuddling can stop relationship fights.
iStock 1146052314
Oxytocin is often nicknamed “the love hormone” because it increases the bond and connection between people. It brings people closer, not only physically, but emotionally too. So if you keep snapping at your partner for silly reasons, cuddling more often could be the key to preventing unnecessary fights before they even start. It’s an easy way to build a healthy relationship, without needing to exchange a single word.

It can boost immunity and prevent illness.
iStock 609954776
Thanks again to oxytocin, cuddling can support your immune system and keep you from getting sick. This time, it’s because oxytocin helps to increase levels of serotonin in the body, which is known to enhance immunity. Serotonin also lowers inflammation in the body, keeping you healthy and making it easier to get back on your feet even if you do get sick.

Cuddling could improve digestion.
iStock 76216169 SMALL
Serotonin released during cuddling helps aid proper digestion and tells your brain when you’re full. And not having enough of it could cause issues in the digestive system, leading to conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome. Even if you don’t necessarily want to think about your intestines while cuddling, just know that you’re helping your digestive tract when you do.

You can cuddle almost anyone (who consents, of course).
iStock 1001566254
You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel the comfort of cuddling. You can cuddle after a hookup, chill on the sofa with your BFF, or even give a family member a big bear hug. Even though cuddling is intimate, it’s much more accessible than other forms of physical intimacy like kissing or sex. As long as you feel comfortable and the other person is cool with it, you can cuddle with pretty much anyone.

It’s great for babies too.
pexels photo 132589
If you love a good cuddle, you’ve probably been like that literally since birth. Babies get a major boost from skin-to-skin contact with their parents and other caregivers. However, these cuddling benefits extend to all ages. Just like with adults, cuddling helps bond babies to their family, calms their breathing, and helps promote healthy development both inside and out. Tap into your inner toddler and go cuddle someone you love ASAP.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

GET IT NOW

Continue Reading

Relationship

Why Do I Need Constant Reassurance In My Relationship? What’s Really Going On

Published

on

iStock 1204437890

While it’s good to receive validation and reassurance in life and love, there comes a point where you need to trust your instincts and your partner and stop needing them to affirm who you are. When you can’t seem to move past this, it becomes a problem. This can arise for a number of reasons, but remember that it’s never too late to reflect on your behaviors. If you find yourself wondering, Why do I need constant reassurance in my relationship? we have some answers for you.

You were insecure as a teenager.

I mean this is something of a self-explanatory statement, I know. You’d be hard-pressed to find a teenager in the world that wasn’t insecure about something. However, there’s something funny about the teenage mind that convinces us that we must be the most disgusting, strange thing ever to have existed. It’s obviously not true, but nothing makes you feel like the cruel exception to life’s glory like being a sweaty, spotty 15-year-old. Not that I speak from experience, of course. Either way, it instills in us the sense that we’re always behind everyone else or fighting against the curve. It makes us feel like we need to play catch up. This is why you will always find young 200-somethings rushing in and out of relationships because once we do get into a relationship, we find it hard to be alone after and don’t give ourselves time to work on ourselves in between. It’s natural and nearly universal, however. It’s worth considering adapting your behavior.

You don’t feel like you have value.
iStock 651773530
 This is where the insecurity from the teenage years takes root. We all act differently when we feel like we are worthless. It drives us to do things that we would never expect. You come to expect that validation to come from other people and that’s not healthy. Your partner will be wonderful, but they should never be the sole person responsible for your happiness. It’s too much pressure, and receiving constant reassurance won’t help alleviate it.

You thought you’d never have a partner.
iStock 696598012
You begin to doubt why your partner is with you in some cases of extreme insecurity, leading you to need constant reassurance. This is upsetting on both parts, though, because although you are unhappy, you’re also implicitly doubting your partner. It isn’t right to tell your partner how they feel. It does them a disservice, and yet, nothing they say will make you feel better.

You hold on too tight.
iStock 498466378
Space is always a godsend in the case of relationships, but if you’re hanging too tight, it will make for a very claustrophobic relationship. This is particularly true if your partner needs this space. You need to give people a minute to themselves so that they can check in with themselves and friends. Otherwise, you will drive them to panic and emotional exhaustion.

You’re scared of distance.
iStock 487456856
As is the case with space, you need to learn to love distance in a relationship. As working adults, you’ll never be spending every hour together anyway. You need to fit each other into your routine. It’s an expression of love when you find time, rather than just an inevitability. You can be refreshed this way.

You stop communicating your vulnerability.
iStock 936147636
Over time, you will grow to repeat yourself and repeat yourself. Unless your partner is an absolute paragon of patience, this will begin to seed resentment. Everyone wants to support each other, but if there’s no sign of growth or progress, that’s difficult to stomach.

There’s a lack of trust.
iStock 1141440541
This is one of the biggest reasons you need constant reassurance. You’re showing your partner that you don’t trust them. You’re asking them for validation, but are you really listening to them? If you were, you’d believe them. You must learn to relax with your partner and trust them. Otherwise, you’ll find it difficult to unwind and relax in your own space.

Scared that things are going too well.
iStock 540488084
Even if you aren’t in as extreme a situation as some of these examples, you might still feel like running when things get too good. That’s a natural instinct.

In conclusion, if you see yourself in some of these examples just be kind to yourself and think some things through. You’re not alone, so always reach out to someone you trust.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

GET IT NOW

Continue Reading

Trending

NgGossips.com