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Warning Signs He’s A Toxic Guy And You Need To Stay Away

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Toxic guys can be hard to spot. Although they tend to display a few common red flags, it’s not always easy to notice when they’re furiously waving in front of you when you like the person waving them. Knowing what to look out for is the best way to identify when a toxic guy has come into your life. Read on for a few classic warning signs that you should stay away from him.

He leaves you on read.

Leaving someone on read is often a power play. They know that you’ve seen their message and are choosing not to respond to it. So if a guy does this to you constantly, he is either intentionally trying to establish power by leaving you waiting for him, or is so clueless that they don’t understand what it feels like to be left on read. Honestly, it’s more likely to be the former, which is one of the biggest signs that he’s a toxic guy.

He only talks to you late at night.
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If a guy only talks to you in the wee hours, it can mean that he’s only after one thing. Unless there’s some pressing reason why, such as you both having abnormal work schedules, this often means he only wants you for the kind of conversation and activities that happen late at night. If you do sleep early, then refusing to text you at any other time also demonstrates a lack of respect for your schedule.

He cancels your dates without any excuse.
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This is a huge red flag. Not that people are obligated to detail all of their reasoning to you. But if he throws you out by canceling at the last minute, the least he can do is apologize and explain himself. If he doesn’t even bother to give you an excuse, it shows that he doesn’t really value your feelings enough to justify himself.

He shows up late to see you.
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This might not seem like a big deal but it’s actually one of the most obvious signs of a toxic guy. Maybe even worse than bailing is rocking up late to your dates. Sometimes, people are late and they can’t help it. It’s okay as long as they apologize. But if he regularly rocks up late and doesn’t explain why, and doesn’t say sorry, it shows that he doesn’t care that he’s wasting your time. A guy like that is toxic.

He tries to undermine your confidence.
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Sometimes, guys who are insecure will try to undermine your confidence and bring you down to their level. He might insult you under the guise of a joke. Or he might manipulate you into focusing on and talking about a sore spot that hurts your feelings. No matter how he does it, you should avoid this type of guy at all costs.

He pushes your boundaries.
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Boundaries are there for a reason. If a guy tests your boundaries—even the ones that don’t seem major to you—it shows a huge lack of respect. And it could also show that he might be willing to test other boundaries you have, that are even more important to you. For example, if you have dinner with him and tell him you’re not drinking, and then he orders you a vodka lime anyway, he clearly doesn’t care about the boundary you’ve set. It shows that he’s more interested in meeting his needs than yours.

He lies.
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A liar is someone to stay away from. While most people might hide things from the person they’re dating in the beginning, you should eventually get a good idea of whether he’s an honest person or not. Does he lie about things for no reason? Does he keep things from you to manipulate you, because he knows you’d leave him if you found out? Non-white lies are a red flag and a sign of toxic behavior – if this guy is showing you the signs, believe him.

He guilts you for standing up for yourself.
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It can be scary to stand up for yourself, especially around someone you’re dating. Pay attention to how he responds when you do stand up for yourself. Does he make you feel guilty, like you’re being out of line for having your own back? Or does he gaslight you and make you think you overreacted? If so, he’s not good for you.

He lacks basic manners and courtesy.
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Manners are basic but important. Despite the appeal of a rude boy, it’s very hard to have a serious relationship with someone who lacks courtesy. Why? In most cases, someone who lacks courtesy also lacks respect. Does he apologize for being late? Say thank you when you pay for dinner? Treat the wait staff with respect? These can all speak volumes about his integrity.

He brags about his toxic behavior.
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Perhaps the single most toxic thing a person can do is brag about their toxic behavior. Notice how he speaks about his exes, or the other women he’s dated. Does he laugh as he tells you that he ghosts people when he’s sick of them? That he made an ex cry? Or that he used someone for sex? If he proudly talks about any of the toxic things he’s done, set him free. And tell him not to let the door hit him on his way out.

The signs of a toxic guy may not always be easy to spot, but the more you pay attention, the easier it’ll be to notice them.

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How To Be Mysterious And Leave Him Wanting More

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When you first start dating a guy, you want to beguile them without coming on too strong. How do you do that? Is it really possible to balance creating plenty of intrigue without showing your cards too soon? It is, but it means being thoughtful about how you manage the situation and not letting the excitement of a possible new relationship overwhelm you. Here’s how to be mysterious in love, at least for a little while.

Leave some things to his imagination.

Getting flirty in person or via text can be a lot of fun and really build up the sexual tension, but you don’t have to go all the way and say every last thing that’s on your mind. In order to be mysterious, you should hint at what’s on your mind and what you’re thinking about without spelling it out word for word. Let him imagine what’s in your head and see how much excitement it leads to.

Don’t always be available when he reaches out.
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If he’s really into you, he’ll make it a priority to get in touch with you regularly. That’s sweet and bodes well for a future relationship, but it also doesn’t mean you have to be at his beck and call from the get-go. If you want to be (or at least seem) mysterious, don’t always jump the second he messages you or asks you to hang out. I’m not saying to play games and pretend you don’t want to see him when you do, just keep things nice and chill. After all, you have a busy, full life anyway, right? This shouldn’t be that hard.

Reveal yourself and your life to him layer by layer.
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When you really connect with a guy, the overwhelming urge to basically spill your guts and reveal your life story can be overwhelming. Resist the urge. Instead, let him get to know you and the things that make you who you are little by little. Make him work to uncover all the special things that have created the woman he wants to date.

Don’t settle into too much of a schedule.
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This is one of the easiest ways to be mysterious. Be spontaneous! If he thinks you always go to the gym on a Saturday or you eat at the same pizza place every Friday night, switch things up. Never become too routine, but instead keep things interesting by switching it up every now and then.

Listen more than you speak.
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At the end of the day, the best way to create a little mystery is to talk a bit less than you speak. You don’t always need to be talking and in fact, listening can help you get to know him even better.

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Healthy Boundaries To Set In Your Relationship And Never Cross

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You might want to be as close as possible with your partner, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your own autonomy, dignity, and self-respect. No matter how solid your relationship appears to be, healthy boundaries are necessary to put in place and never let slide. If you’re unsure what this means or which boundaries are non-negotiable, here are a few to get you started. Feel free to add your own where appropriate!

Saying no sometimes

Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with them all the time or say yes to every request they make. You are allowed to say no. In fact, you’re even encouraged to sometimes — that’s what you call exercising one of your healthy relationship boundaries.

Taking time to yourself
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Alone time is always important regardless of your relationship status, but it’s even more important when you’re part of a couple. You and your partner aren’t a single unit. Yes, you’re a team, but you’re still your own person and you need time to unwind, decompress, and refill your proverbial cup. It doesn’t matter what you do with that time – it’s yours any you have every right to take it.

Demanding respect
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This is one of the most vital elements of any successful relationship. You cannot be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and why would they want to be with you if they didn’t in the first place? Your partner needs to respect your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and desires even if they don’t match their own. That’s the very least they can offer you.

Nurturing your life outside of the relationship
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In addition to having plenty of alone time, another of those healthy relationship boundaries that are important to have in place is your commitment to your life outside of your relationship. That means continuing to pursue hobbies, to spend time with your family and friends, and simply to do your own thing. You don’t want to sacrifice the full life you had when you were single just because you happen to be in a relationship right now. If you do, what happens when it ends? You’ll be screwed.

Communicating your feelings, good or bad
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It can sometimes be tempting in relationships to avoid rocking the boat or hurting your partner’s feelings by clamming up and not saying what you really think or feel. This is toxic and will undoubtedly backfire in the end when you become so resentful/angry/hurt/etc. that you explode. Speak about your feelings honestly and openly and encourage your partner to do the same. Your relationship will be better for it.

The freedom to dictate sexual boundaries
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Again, you do not have to do anything you don’t want to do or are uncomfortable with for the sake of keeping your partner happy, shutting them up, or avoiding conflict. This is one of the most important on the long list of healthy relationship boundaries and should go without saying but it’s still worth mentioning here. Whether you don’t want to do a particular sex act or you simply don’t feel in the mood when your partner is horny, you have every right to say no.

Permission to change your mind
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Yes, you might have said you were okay with something last week but this time around, it doesn’t feel right. That’s your prerogative. You’re allowed to change your mind, even if it annoys or angers your partner. Don’t apologize for it or feel bad.

Having your needs met
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You have the right to demand that your needs are met in a relationship. While you can’t expect your partner to meet every need you have in life, there are certain things partners should be happy or willing to do to ensure you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for. If that’s not happening, you owe it to yourself to get out as soon as possible.

Asserting a right to privacy
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Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you give up your right to privacy. You are allowed to have conversations with friends and family members that your partner isn’t privvy to. You’re allowed to talk to other people, go other places, and live your life without reporting every last minute of your day to your partner. If they don’t like it, they’re too controlling and it’s never going to work.

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How To Stop Being Jealous In Your Relationship — 12 Strategies To Try Right Now

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They say jealousy makes you nasty, but you know what else it makes you? Unhappy, anxious, and miserable. It can also sink your relationship before you can say, “I have some serious trust issues.” If you find that you’re a jealous person (or people have told you so), how deeply does that jealousy really go? Is it affecting your life and your relationship satisfaction? Here’s how to deal with it so that you can get better control over the green-eyed monster and stop being jealous all the time.

Ask yourself where jealousy is coming from. 

You can’t control your jealousy if you don’t know its source. You have to think about what this jealousy is about. Are you jealous because you’ve been hurt by exes and you’re worried your current partner is going to hurt you? Are you jealous because you’re insecure about your relationship?

Make a list of your insecurities.
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Jealousy is always tied to insecurity. For example, maybe you’re jealous about your partner’s friendship with his female co-worker and that makes you feel insecure about the relationship. When dealing with your jealousy, it’s useful to make a list of all your relationship insecurities as this will better help you get to the source of your jealousy and understand its triggers.

Get real with your partner. 
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Another important thing to do when you’re dealing with jealousy is to be open about your feelings with your partner. If you keep your jealousy inside, it can feel more overwhelming and spiral out of control. When you tell your partner about your trust issues, this can help them to understand it and also make sure they don’t do anything to make you feel unnecessarily jealous that it messes with your head. You should also speak to your partner if they’re doing anything to trigger your jealousy, as this will also help you heal from it.

Figure out if your jealousy is warranted.
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Now that you know what causes and triggers your jealousy, you need to figure out if your jealousy is warranted. Thinking your boyfriend is cheating on you because he’s running 10 minutes late from work is unwarranted. On the other hand, thinking your boyfriend is cheating on you because of various reasons that keep presenting themselves, that’s probably warranted jealousy. If you feel like your jealousy doesn’t make you think clearly and logically, it can help to ask some friends for their advice on it.

Focus on realistic relationship expectations.
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Another interesting thing about jealousy is that it can cloud your relationship expectations. If your expectations are very high and your partner doesn’t meet them, this could be misinterpreted as them being shifty or not making enough of an effort or having someone else on the side. So, have realistic expectations about what you want and what your partner can offer you as this will prevent jealousy from appearing.

Think about what you want.
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Sometimes, jealousy can be trying to tell you what you want and what you don’t have right now. Therefore, it’s a good idea to listen to it and see what it’s trying to tell you. For example, if you feel jealous about your partner having a vibrant social life, this could motivate you to think about what you want from your own friendships.

Write down what you feel.
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It can really help you to jot down what you’re feeling jealous about, even on a scrap piece of paper. This will help you to make sense of your thoughts and you’ll be able to spot irrational thinking that you’ll find easier to eliminate from your mind.

Breathe before you push buttons.
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If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with jealousy and you want to confront your partner about it, it’s useful to take a few breaths. Go for a 10-minute walk and distract yourself. Or, try to see the bigger picture. Will this jealousy be a big issue next week, or in a month? It might be something silly, or it might be a symptom of a larger problem that you do need to talk to your partner about.

Avoid lashing out at your partner.
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If you’re feeling jealous, it can be easy to use this to attack your partner. You might shut down and isolate yourself from them, or get into a fight. This only leads to drama and might make you feel like you’re nuts. The best thing to do is take time for yourself to calmly and rationally explore the jealousy before you confront your partner. When you decide to communicate it to your partner, make sure you do so when you’re both calm and have time for a chat. Focus on your feelings so that you don’t come across as interrogating them.

Work on your confidence.
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Boost your confidence so that you don’t let your insecurities flow out of control and lead to unnecessary jealousy. Instead of thinking your partner is going to cheat on/hurt you, think about why you will be fine even if they do. It’s hard to trust other people, but you should be trusting yourself and knowing that you can deal with whatever life throws at you.

Think about the good stuff.
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If your jealousy is warranted, then you shouldn’t force yourself to see the good things about your relationship, otherwise, you’ll be denying how you feel and how you’re not happy. However, if you know that your jealousy is rooted in deep insecurities that you have to deal with, it’s good to remind yourself of what’s great about your relationship. This will help you to keep your jealousy in perspective and focus on reality.

See a therapist.
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If you can’t seem to control your jealousy and it’s making you miserable, it’s a good idea to chat to a psychologist about it. He or she will be able to give you healthy coping techniques and show you how to better manage your jealousy so it can’t take over your relationship and your life.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – Sponsored If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero, a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

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